Yesterday's Weather

Tips to Make SEO Copywriting Seem Effortless

2010-10-14T10:16:00.000-07:00

Boop.

Linkbait Generator - The results generated range from "How to sound like Oprah" and "7 ways Japanese subculture has perverted sororities", and I hope you never try to use them to the letter (hint: other people have access to this tool? following me?) Although you should never rely on someone else's suggestion as your foundation for copy, I see no problem with using unoriginal ideas to "season" your writing.

Unlikely Sources for Great Link Worthy Content Ideas I'll admit, I was temped to keep this one to myself. Holistic Search Marketing has become one of my weekly haunts.

How To Create Compelling Content, a PDF by ScribeSEO.

Crystalised - xx

2010-04-23T23:18:00.001-07:00

Oh, to have this blessed burden..

You've applied the pressure
To have me crystalized
And you've got the faith
That I could bring paradise

I'll forgive and forget
Before I'm paralyzed
Do I have to keep up the pace
To keep you satisfied

Things have gotten closer to the sun
And I've done things in small doses
So don't think that I'm pushing you away
When you're the one that I've kept closest

You don't move slow
Taking steps in my directions
The sound resounds, echo
Does it lesson your affection

No

You say I'm foolish
For pushing this aside
But burn down our home
I won't leave alive

Glaciers have melted to the sea
I wish the tide would take me over
I've been down on my knees
And you just keep on getting closer

Glaciers have melted to the sea (Things have gotten closer to the sun)
I wish the tide would take me over (And I've done things in small doses)
I've been down onto my knees (So don't think that I'm pushing you away)
And you just keep on getting closer (When you're the one that I've kept closest

Mia Doi Todd "Open Your Heart"

2010-03-24T11:57:00.001-07:00

LOVELOVELOVE

Retriever

2010-03-11T09:19:00.000-08:00

My father, in middle age, falls in love with a dog.

He who kicked dogs in anger when I was a child,
who liked his comb always on the same shelf,
who drank martinis to make his mind quiet.

He who worked and worked—his shirts
wrapped in plastic, his heart ironed
like a collar. He who—like so many men—
loved his children but thought the money

he made for them was more important
than the rough tweed of his presence.
The love of my father's later years is
a Golden Retriever—more red

than yellow—a nervous dog who knows
his work clothes from his casual ones,
can read his creased face, who waits for
him at the front door—her paws crossed

like a child's arms. She doesn't berate him
for being late, doesn't need new shoes
or college. There is no pressure to raise her
right, which is why she chews the furniture,

pees on rugs, barks at strangers who
cross the lawn. She is his responsible soul
broken free. She is the children he couldn't
come home to made young again.

She is like my mother but never angry,
always devoted. He cooks for his dog—
my father who raised us in restaurants—
and takes her on business trips like

a wife. Sometimes, sitting beside her
in the hair-filled fan he drives to make
her more comfortable, my father's dog
turns her head to one side as if

thinking and, in this pose, more than
one of us has mistaken her for a person.
We would be jealous if she didn't make
him so happy—he who never took

more than one trip on his expensive
sailboat, whose Mercedes was wrecked
by a valet. My mother saw him behind
the counter of a now-fallen fast food

restaurant when she was nineteen.
They kissed beside a river where fish
no longer swim. My father who was
always serious has fallen in love with

a dog. What can I do but be happy for him?

"Retriever" by Faith Shearin, from The Owl Question.

Drive My Car

2010-03-03T16:24:00.000-08:00

Asked a girl what she wanted to be
She said baby, can't you see
I wanna be famous, a star of the screen
But you can do something in between

Baby you can drive my car
Yes I'm gonna be a star
Baby you can drive my car
And maybe I'll love you

I told that girl that my prospects were good
she said baby, it's understood
Working for peanuts is all very fine
But I can show you a better time

Baby you can drive my car
Yes I'm gonna be a star
Baby you can drive my car
And maybe I'll love you

I told that girl I can start right away
When she said listen babe I got something to say
I got no car and it's breaking my heart
But I've found a driver and that's a start

Baby you can drive my car
Yes I'm gonna be a star
Baby you can drive my car
And maybe I'll love you

Wonderful-good sick day music. Next up is...

Let me take you down because I'm going to

Body vs. Mind

2010-03-03T14:50:00.000-08:00

From the moment we wake up, we are at war with our bodies. Our minds can stretch so far, can be made to believe impossible things with unwavering conviction, can solve scientific riddles that have plagued generations of free-thinkers, can be condensed into a slurry by a disease like dementia. The human brain is an amazing machine for which there are no substitutions.

During the course of evolution, our bodies have evolved, I believe, at a much slow rate than our brains. Language, mathematics, logic, science, all of these algorithms lie within the capabilities and the spanse of the human brain. We've created vaccinations, prevented the deaths of millions of people, we've outsmarted many physical shortcomings that one can be born with.

Hell, we even know how much the fucking Sun weighs.

Today, I have a cold. I'm at the point where I don't want to be asleep all the time, but when I'm awake I have the dry, monotaste of illness in my mouth. I take some medicine, sure, and my symptoms are little more than propped on nice little pillows.

Before we make contact with alien races, can we knock out the human cold first?

Maybe this is all just the diatribe of a sofa-ridden female soaked in Dayquil, slowly drying out with toilet paper, old Christmas letters, and Dr. Phil. But. BUT. I have a sneaky suspicion that some things that aren't so dangerous to the public health will go uncured simply because a box of generic Day-Time/Nite-Time Cold & Flu Formula costs $10 in the Southeastern US.

Have I covered every theory here? Evolution, aliens, pharmaceutical companies? Haha, okay, I'm done.

Chasing Wine

2010-02-28T17:16:00.000-08:00

Here lies us. Our anemic bed
bodies of truths have gone unsaid
prattling like cats instead
choosing raisins
we tend to our own vineyards of youth
Stomping, crushing
chasing wine
we toast to stars that don't align.
~R.D.A.

Taken

2010-02-28T17:02:00.000-08:00

Don't look to me, his candor said
Your beauty fills my eyes with dread
I'm burdened with a lustful fear
for a certain claimed frontier.
I'm horrified to like too well
your catching grin and fetching smell.

not crazy for the fourth line..

Better Half

2010-02-28T16:57:00.000-08:00

She lays her head against his chest
during late night TV, murmurs of the man
who gave her fame, and he of the woman for whom
he won his. She wants to sway
to the beat of his heart in her ear, slow
as "Are You Lonesome Tonight." In sleep
their tear-blotched faces could be anyone’s.

Twisted Dreams of a Shapeless Mind

2010-02-23T11:26:00.000-08:00

As your eyes look toward me,
brimming with the promise of
sunlit nights and darkened dawns

as you walk towards me,
holding the wealth of the world in your palm,

unafraid of the past,
but scared of the future....

I feel happy, and content, like an old fairy tale,
like I could open my eyes and know you're there
even when you weren't

its strange to see life take a path you never expected
a turning away, where old memories seem as fresh as my tears...

by Sakshim

Stumble

2010-02-23T11:24:00.000-08:00

Scared to smile around you so I stumble.
Tumbling and fumbling and shaking
Under your spell. I've been
Mistreated and defeated I'm a
Brambling idiot. I'm afraid of
Loving and living and leaving.
Eternity is such a long time to go without love.

by Jessica Giles

Yes We Can (Hold Babies)

2010-02-19T10:49:00.000-08:00

The Most Adorable Little Old Lady in the World

2010-02-16T10:16:00.000-08:00

Since it isn't on YouTube (yet), you'll have to click on this link to watch the video. The little old lady with the Sinatra letter to Royko was told her item could be worth 12-15k; not a stunning price like the multi-million dollar jade pieces in the recent Raleigh show but still a handsome sum.

Still, she could not stand all amazed - she was about to faint. Typically, the responses of the quotees are very modest and disciplined. I've only been watching for a little while and the closest I've seen to immodesty was the Raleigh woman's "damn", which, if you ask me was perfectly warranted.

Little old Sinatra-letter lady was so utterly wowed and it overtook her in a very comedic way. I think I freaked out my toddler from laughing so hard.

Here's a transcript:

APPRAISER: I bet. And it's still a famous letter, and people remember it today. And as such, I would estimate it at auction at at least $15,000...

GUEST: Oh... (gasps) Oh, no!

APPRAISER: And I wouldn't be surprised...

GUEST: Oh, no...

APPRAISER: I wouldn't be surprised if this letter sold for more than that, because Sinatra stuff is as hot as it can get, and it just doesn't get any better than this.

GUEST: Oh!

APPRAISER: So with all the provenance and your great story...

GUEST: Oh, my goodness.

APPRAISER: It's just such a great piece. I was so happy that you brought it in today.

GUEST: Oh, gee, I'm going to faint. I'm going to faint. I really... where are my friends?

APPRAISER: Are you all right?

GUEST: Oh, yes, give me a seat! Oh, man! Are they kidding me? Did you all hear that?! Yes! Yes! Did you all hear that?! Oh, isn't that... He offered me a hundred dollars for it. You can't have it for a hundred dollars. Isn't that super? Yeah, that's so super. I'm going to give that money to... If I ever sell it, the money goes to the Salvation Army anyway.

APPRAISER: Oh, that would be good.

GUEST: So the more, the merrier. Oh, listen, you just made my... Why... did you hear that, Betty?

GUEST: I know, I heard it, I heard it, I heard it! (both laughing) They must be nuts! Isn't that great?

APPRAISER: It's wonderful.

Things I've Learned Today

2010-01-26T10:47:00.000-08:00

You can freeze eggs.

The Earth is becoming more or less invisible to alien intelligent life. Since the switch to digital from analog television last year, we're sending less and less information over radiation waves. We'd be almost undetectable were it not for the 2 watts we're still transmitting over a long distance, not much more than that of a cell phone.

Eight Rules for Writing Fiction, by Kurt Vonnegut

Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action.
Start as close to the end as possible.
Be a sadist. Now matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them — in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

From CorpWatch: in the case Citizens United v. FEC, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that corporations have a First Amendment right to spend unlimited amounts of money to influence election outcomes.
Money from Exxon, Goldman Sachs, Pfizer and the rest of the Fortune 500 is already corroding the policy making process. Now, the Supreme Court tells these corporate giants that they have a constitutional right to trample our democracy.

The Guardian UK says that Oil Companies are now more dangerous than ever.

I instantly loved the art of Kelly Vivanco!

Cuzco

2010-01-21T08:47:00.000-08:00

The place where Mormons have "confirmed" was Nephi's City, a religiously significant site in LDS scripture, is Cuzco Mexico.

I rejected the whole religion a long time ago.

Cuzco has the highest ultra-violet level on Earth.

What does that mean?

Memories of Alternative Futures

2010-01-18T16:18:00.000-08:00

Have you ever looked up an old friend, or a town you moved away from, or an old love, only to be surprised by your own intense nostalgia? I recently found the blog of an acquaintance I'd lost touch with. Their life - every single aspect of it - was founded on principles that I'd long ago abandoned. I had no idea who I was then; all I knew was that I enjoyed this person immensely. Something felt natural and right; when we lost touch, none of those principles felt right anymore.Reading this person's blog was like looking at the world upside down. It's dizzying to recall something that never happened, with remorse, and to know that because of one bad call, someone else was living my life. As I saw the photos they posted, the smiles, the stories... all of it was familiar. The bike lanes, the diner, the piles of laundry, the railroad tracks. All of these memories I shouldn't have.

Boys and Girls Together

2010-01-12T13:31:00.001-08:00

Boys don't want to be princes.

Boys want to be shepherds who slay dragons,

maybe someone gives you half a kingdom and a princess,

but that's just what comes of being a shepherd boy

and slaying a dragon. Or a giant. And you don't really

even have to be a shepherd. Just not a prince.

In stories, even princes don't want to be princes,

disguising themselves as beggars or as shepherd boys,

leaving the kingdom for another kingdom,

princehood only of use once the ogre's dead, the tasks are done,

and the reluctant king, her father, needing to be convinced.

Boys do not dream of princesses who will come for them.

Boys would prefer not to be princes,

and many boys would happily kiss the village girls,

out on the sheep-moors, of an evening,

over the princess, if she didn't come with the territory.

Princesses sometimes disguise themselves as well,

to escape the kings' advances, make themselves ugly,

soot and cinders and donkey girls,

with only their dead mothers' ghosts to aid them,

a voice from a dried tree or from a pumpkin patch.

And then they undisguise, when their time is upon them,

gleam and shine in all their finery. Being princesses.

Girls are secretly princesses.

None of them know that one day, in their turn,

Boys and girls will find themselves become bad kings

or wicked stepmothers,

aged woodcutters, ancient shepherds, mad crones and wise-women,

to stand in shadows, see with cunning eyes:

The girl, still waiting calmly for her prince.

The boy, lost in the night, out on the moors.

-Neil Gaiman

I Carry Your Heart With Me

2010-01-08T11:38:00.001-08:00

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

-E.E. Cummings

Why is Carrie Underwood Marrying Teen Wolf?

2010-01-08T09:55:00.000-08:00

"I want a groom, good food, and an open bar." Carrie Underwood, talking about her dream wedding. But really? This guy? Just goes to show you never can tell, as they say.

Quote by Unknown

2010-01-06T14:13:00.000-08:00

"Unless it is mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it's a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life - love should not be one of them."
Love feels like "Static Grate" a song by B Fleischmann that played in the office ten minutes ago.Enzo Emanuele and coworkers reported the protein molecule known as the nerve growth factor (NGF) has high levels when people first fall in love, but these return to previous levels after one year.

Philosopher Gottfried Leibniz said that love is "to be delighted by the happiness of another."

Couldn't Find the Song

2010-01-06T12:28:00.000-08:00

I have a great deal of love and fear for abandoned places. I want to know their stories, but I like making up my own creepy stories in the mean time.

I googled combinations of its lyrics and it sounded like Bob Dylan. No such luck. It's one of thoooose days, huh?

I told myself today, as I walked up the steps into the office, that today was going to be a GOOD ONE. I would work my butt off, I would be proud of myself, I would be happy and despite it's best efforts, the universe would not hold me asunder. I was wrong. Well played, universe.

I bought a print from Missed Connections today. I lovelovelove this site. I hope to collect them all. To me, there's something darling about reading Craigslist's Missed Connections and it turns out I am not alone.

Cute New Emoticons in No Particular Order

(9_9) Didn't sleep last night.

('o') singing

(><) ouch

(=_=) bored

(o_O) incredulous

(!__!) sad

(<>..<>) alien

(X_X) dead

\\(*O*)// cheering

Our Sacred so and so's

2010-01-04T13:12:00.000-08:00

Under my love
Wake up to your window
The day calls in billows
It's echoing moonlight on to the blue nightmare of your heart
In cosy red rainbow
It's shaking off halos
And the memory of our sacred so and so's

Oh take my hand sweet
Complete your release and bury your feet
And married we'll be
Alone in receiving ours is a feeling not that they would see
They don't know that we could be
That way your cradle escaped the sea
And your raven haired Mama cought told you so's

Were laying in the shadow of your family tree
Your haunted heart and me
Brought down by an old idea whose time has come
And in the shadow of the gallows of your family tree
There's a hundred hearts soar free
Pumping blood to the roots of evil to keep it young

Ah me all mine
Is it safe to say that we've waited patiently
Call me on time
And recall the tune that has place us gracefully
All into line
There's the garden grave and a place they've saved for you
I'll fall by your side
Though your silver haired Mama throws told you so's

Were laying in the shadow of your family tree
Your haunted heart and me
Brought down by an old idea whose time has come
And in the shadow of the gallows of your family tree
There's a hundred hearts soar free
Pumping blood to the roots of evil to keep it young

And now we'll gather in the shadow of your family tree
In haunted harmony
Brought down by an old idea whose time has come
And in the shadow of the valley of your family tree
There's a hundred hearts soar free
Pumping blood to the roots of evil to keep us young

-TV on the Radio "Family Tree"

I Don't Care About Your Mafia Wars. Quite the Contrary.

2009-12-30T14:05:00.000-08:00

"I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals." -QDB quote

It's supposed to freezing rain tonight. I want sunny days with warm weather. Minus the bees and the spiders big as my thumbnail. I want to grow tomatoes with my daughter. And I need her to stop growing.
"Oh, if only you could stay this way forever!" -Jane Ackerly to her young daughter in Peter Pan

Sometimes I pee so loudly that I hope people don't think I'm secretly a hermaphrodite.
Guys pee really loud. I think.
Generic Love Poem by Kirsty MacDonald
Call a doctor/ plumber/ priest*
My heart is broken/ leaking/ deceased*
My life is worthless/ so much better/ over*
I'm going to kill myself/ tell your wife/ Dover*
How could you leave me/ not know/ lie?*
I hope you return my stuff/ come back/ die*
I'll never forget you/ forgive you/ go away*
I need closure/ a DNA test/ to tell you I'm gay*
Your face/ crotch/ top of your back*
Is so beautiful/ lumpy/ unusually slack*
Your ex/ mother/ best friend from school*
Always made me great coffee/ feel inadequate/ drool*
I will miss you/ kill you/ stalk you forever*
That way we can be friends/ get away with it/ be together*
I'm sorry you did this/ I did this /we failed*
I promise to pay you/ dye it back/ get you bailed
Please don't leave me/ show the Polaroids/ write or call*

(*delete as appropriate, just delete it all.....)

Personality Types & My Uncanny Bad Luck

2009-12-29T14:03:00.000-08:00

This stuff is fascinating. Period. Here's a chart that maps out relationships between the personality types. It looks like an alien language at first, but don't let it intimidate you. It's pretty easy to determine what it means. Now, if only I knew more people's personality types...

I wish I could remember my personality type... I know it's I....then three letters...

Speaking of alien languages! I registered Halle's Shining Stars Name-your-own-star thing. I stuck with her full name. I'm having a hard time finding any info about it online. Hmm.

Here is it's location (within Ursa Major):

10h 37m 35.42s 52° 51' 34.84

I think my digital camera (not my brand new camcorder) is crapping out on me. Ever since I took it to the beach it hasn't been the same. I have such awful luck with electronics. Oh yeah, and my badass CD player with the record player that looks like an antique? Can't play CDs anymore. I'm thinking the next digital camera I get will be waterproof. Like this one maybe? Or this red one? Ooooh.

I'm not seeing any cd players that I like. It's funny to go to a place like Bestbuy.com and look in their categories. "CD Players" isn't one of them. Haha. Oh, Ipods, why didja have to go and ruin my fun?

Bacon

2009-12-22T10:17:00.000-08:00

If you say beer can with a British accent, it sounds like you're saying BACON with a Jamaican accent.